Jane, Stop This Crazy Thing

Pitting Florida and Cincinnati, the Allstate Sugar Bowl is this season's recipient of the "College Coaching Carousel" award. Bearcat program architect Brian Kelly was a local legend, right until he left for Notre Dame. Interim coach Jeff Quinn, who will lead the team this week, is bound for Buffalo once the whistle blows. Butch Jones, the Central Michigan transplant hired to replace Kelly, will watch the game, but isn't coaching, just hovering. Meanwhile, Florida's Urban Meyer announced his resignation last Saturday, then un-resigned Sunday, adrift in a vaguely defined leave of absence. Gator interim coach Steve Addazio will call the shots, but who knows how long he'll be doing so. It's also the final hurrah for UF defensive coordinator Charlie Strong, whose bags are packed for the head job at Louisville. Both Meyer and Kelly have dominant personalities and hands-on approaches, so we'll soon see which team is best able to approximate business as usual. And it used to be you couldn't tell the players without a scorecard.

All Those Bowls and a Bag of Chips

With college football's seemingly bottomless bowl season filling countless hours of television time, a Quinnipiac University Polling Institute survey released this morning shows 63 percent favor getting rid of the current Bowl Championship Series and replacing it with a playoff system similar to college basketball's March Madness tournament. Only 26 percent want to keep the BCS, but the majority of almost 2,000 polled don't want to see Congress get involved. Earlier this month, a House subcommittee approved legislation that would make it illegal to promote a national championship game "or make a similar representation," unless it results from a playoff. While there is no Senate version of the bill, President Obama has voiced his support on the campaign trail. Setting aside health-care, global warming, the economy, national defense, environmental issues, foreign trade and immigration for a moment, a politically-correct solution is certainly just around the corner.

Tennis Ace Serves Two Queens

After seven months without a title, a five-set finals defeat at the Australian Open to rival Rafael Nadal, and an angry racket-breaking incident in Miami, the seas have once again calmed in the world of Roger Federer. The 28-year-old Swiss tennis phenom finished as the tour's Number 1-ranked player following the year-end championships in London last week and exuded a regal air of serenity as he clasped the glass trophy for the fifth time in his illustrious career. Federer has now been ranked Number 1 for 259 weeks, trailing only Pete Sampras (286), Ivan Lendl (270) and Jimmy Connors (268) on the all-time list. In less than a two month span earlier this season, Federer captured the only major title to elude him, the French Open, took down Andy Roddick in an unforgettable fifth set at Wimbledon that required thirty games, broke Sampras' record for Grand Slam singles titles, and became a father to twin daughters. With the girls' arrival, expect the singles king to be playing plenty of doubles.

Head Games

In today's National Football League, the game has become faster and quicker, the players bigger and stronger. Thus, when irrestible force now meets immovable object, the resulting collision can leave one dazed and confused, to say the least. With the number of concussions increasing this season -- as evidenced by hits on the Steelers' Ben Roethlisberger, the Cardinals' Kurt Warner and the Eagles' Brian Westbrook -- the NFL and NFL Players Association are working diligently to finalize a policy that would effectively prohibit a player from re-entering a game that he exits with a concussion-related injury. In addition, Commissioner Roger Goodell is also considering a policy that would arbitrarily prohibit a player from playing the subsequent week after suffering a concussion. To prepare competitively with knowledge they would be missing a player as opposed to awaiting any post-concussion symptoms late in a week, teams will petition the league competition committee to allow an expansion of game-day rosters beyond the current 45 available players and more significantly, assign neurologists to each team so that player safety remains priority one. Is there a doctor in the locker room?

One Irish Eye Ain't Smilin'

Losing a close game in what has become a difficult season is tough on any player, but insult to injury made for an even more painful experience involving Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen early Sunday morning. Enjoying a post-game meal with parents, family members and other Fighting Irish upperclassmen following a disappointing loss to Connecticut on Senior Day, Clausen was "sucker-punched" by a fan outside a South Bend restaurant after something was said either to Clausen and/or a female acquaintance, according to witnesses. No police report was filed and the swollen eye is not expected to keep Clausen from playing this weekend against Stanford. Until the Irish resume their winning ways, however, Jimmy may wish to consider using the drive-thru.

Is This Thing On?

The Fox Sports Prime Ticket cable network had little choice but to suspend Los Angeles Clippers longtime play-by-play announcer Ralph Lawler and color analyst Michael Smith for one game following Wednesday's contest against the Grizzlies after their on-air comments about Memphis center Hamed Haddidi offended a viewer who e-mailed Fox to complain. The duo did not work Friday's night telecast against the Denver Nuggets at Staples Center as Michael Eaves and Don MacLean, who regularly serve as halftime and postgame analysts on Clippers telecasts, filled in courtside. According to the team website, Lawler, 71, has covered over 2,400 LAC games in his 31 seasons and Smith is now in his 12th. In a statement, Fox said "While we believe that Michael and Ralph did not intend their exchange to be offensive, the comments were inappropriate. We extend our apologies to Hamed Haddadi (the first Iranian to play in the NBA) and to anyone who was offended." The late-game exchange referenced Haddidi's home country by mispronounciation, included a resemblance reference to movie character "Borat" actor Sasha Baron Cohen, and a comment on his ball-handling skills. Ad-libs have always added an entertainment value to a broadcast, but given the delicate sensitivities of today's geo-political climate, the league may wish to consider adding international diplomacy to its on-air team's skill set.

Foul Finger Forces Fine

While celebrating Tennessee's 41-17 victory over Buffalo, Titans owner Bud Adams flashed the one-finger salute to Bills fans, forcing NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to levy a $250,000 fine for conduct detrimental to the NFL. Adams, 86, seen making the obscene gesture while in his luxury suite and again on the field, is not the only one to face such a financial football fate. New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick was fined $500,000 for the recent Spygate scandal and New York Jets former coach Eric Mangini was tagged $125,000 for violating league rules on injury reporting. Ironically, Adams hosted Goodell at a breakfast prior to the game. Although not certain who picked up the check, it's easy to see who's Number 1 in Nashville.

When Wie Wins, We Win

After all the near misses, high expectations, competitive disappointments and physical challenges, 20-year-old Michelle Wie tapped in Sunday with a 3-under 69 for a two-stroke victory over Paula Creamer to capture her first LPGA Tour title in the Lorena Ochoa Invitational. Her parents, dad B.J. and mom Bo, were there, too, for an embrace as the 6-foot Wie collected a check for $220,000 to push her season winnings just over $900,000. The victory at the Guadalajara Country Club came in her 65th pro tourament and ten years after she first qualified for a USGA event. Battered by economic troubles and the forced resignation of its commissioner this summer, Wie's star power and her resurgence couldn't be coming at a better time for the beleaguered LPGA.

Ebony or Ivory - Why Not Both?

Recent sport celebrity sightings have people asking, "Is Sammy Sosa trying to look white?" When questioned, Sosa says that his drastically lightened skin is merely the result of a skin rejuvenation process and an illusion caused by bright TV lights at an awards show. Slammin' Sammy certainly isn't the first sports figure to use cosmetic assistance (Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones comes to mind), but when a dark-skinned man from the Dominican Republic lightens his look and wears green contact lenses, it might suggest an underlying issue that is more than skin deep.

Hello, Kettle? This is Pot.

Carrying a camera is not a passivist pasttime. Mike Tyson, the 43-year-old former heavyweight boxing champion, and freelance photographer, Tony Echeverria, made citizens' arrests of each other following a confrontation on Wednesday afternoon at Los Angeles International Airport with each man claiming the other struck him. Tyson, having stopped at LAX while traveling from Europe to Las Vegas with his wife and 10-month old son, felt the shutterbug had refused to comply with airport officials who had asked him to leave the family alone. A push here, a shove there, a trip, a stumble, a fall, a cut over one eye... The city attorney is still deciding whether to file criminal charges, claiming the case remains in "investigation mode." On probation after pleading guilty in Arizona to cocaine possession and driving under the influence in 2007, Tyson could be sent to jail if he's found in violation of the judgment. Claiming self-defense, Iron Mike said that Echeverria, in full papparazzi pursuit of pictures, acted over-aggressively. Given his own personal history, which includes accusations of domestic violence and rape, along with a very public biting of Evander Holyfield's ear, Tyson -- of all people -- should know a thing or two about over-aggression.

Heroes On and Off The Field

Great athletes excel on the field, but exceptional athletes excel off it. In recognition of Veterans Day, consider these heroes who also served their country during times of war. On furlough from the Army, heavyweight boxing champion and Pvt. Joe Louis donated proceeds of his March 1942 bout with Abe Simon at Madison Square Garden to the Army Emergency Fund. Army Spc. Pat Tillman played safety for the Arizona Cardinals for four seasons before enlisting after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks and was subsequently killed in a friendly fire incident in Afghanistan in 2004. Boston Red Sox legend Ted Williams received his wings and commission in the Marine Corps and upon being recalled during the Korean War, flew 37 missions and received the Air Medal and two gold stars for meritorious achievement. New York Yankee Joe DiMaggio served three years in the Army before helping the Boys from the Bronx capture four World Series titles. Cleveland Indians pitcher Bob Feller became the first major league player to enlist in the military a day after Japan bombed Pearl Harbor and became a Navy Chief Petty Officer aboard the USS Alabama. Rocky Bleier, who suffered shrapnel wounds to the back, hips and legs in the Vietnam War, was drafted into the Army in 1968 and won a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star in 1969. He returned to the Steelers in 1972 and helped them to four Super Bowl victories. Before breaking major league baseball's color barrier in 1947, Brooklyn Dodgers legend and Hall of Famer Jackie Robinson was a second lieutenant in the Army. Heisman trophy winner and Dallas Cowboy football great Roger Staubach attended the Naval Academy and served the Navy, including a one-year tour of duty in Vietnam as a supply officer. Boxer Gene Tunney joined the Marine Corps and was discharged in July 1919 as a private with an excellent character of service. He would later defeat Jack Dempsey for the world heavyweight boxing championship. Fellow fighter Ken Norton, also a Marine, was a two-time heavyweight champion. NBA great David Robinson, a Naval Academy grad, wore the uniform of the Navy as did Yankees backstop Yogi Berra. Not only did players contribute to the cause, as evidenced by Dallas Cowboys coach Tom Landry, a U.S. Army Air Force B-17 bomber co-pilot who flew 30 missions in Europe during World War II. To these and many others, thank you for your service and for the memories.

Pick a Card -- Any Card

Poker professional Joe Cada, who put cards before college, turned over a pair of nines early after rival 46-year old Darvin Moon called his all-in wager with a suited queen-jack, but a board of two sevens, a king, an eight and a deuce didn't connect with either player's hand, giving Cada the victory in front of 1,500 screaming fans in the World Series of Poker held at the Rio All-Suites Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas. Winning $8.55 million, the 21-year-old from Shelby Township, Michigan, bested a field that began with 6,494 players in July to become the youngest winner in the tournament's 40-year history. For his effort, runner-up Moon, who has never played a single hand of online poker, pocketed $5.18 million. A beaming Cada posed for photographers with his mother, Ann, a dealer at MotorCity Casino Hotel in downtown Detroit, proving that the ability to keep a straight face runs in the family.

Plays Poorly With Others

Every day, thousands of little girls play soccer in this country in organized leagues to learn about teamwork, commitment and dedication. Some will grow up with a love for the game, perfect their skills and compete at the collegiate level. In the Lobos' 1-0 loss to BYU in the Mountain West Conference semifinals, New Mexico women's soccer defender Elizabeth Lambert engaged in a series of excessively rough play -- including punching, shoving, kicking, tackling and, in one instance, hauling BYU forward Kassidy Shumway to the ground by her pony tail -- clearly crossing the line of fair play and sportsmanship. Game officials assessed a yellow card in the game's 76th minute for tripping and afterwards, coach Kit Vela announced that Lambert has been prohibited from taking part in practices, games and conditioning. Lambert apologized for her actions, saying she was "deeply and wholeheartedly regretful," that "I let my emotions get the best of me in a heated situation," and that "I take full responsibility for my actions and accept any punishment felt necessary." Conference officals have endorsed New Mexico's discipline and said an internal review of "the overall dynamic involved in the match" would be conducted. Looks like someone needs a time-out... and a session in anger management.

Paper or Plastic?

The NY Yankees collected their 27th World Series championship this week, defeating the Philadelphia Phillies, last season's winner in baseball's Fall Classic, four games to two. The ensuing victory celebration in Manhattan proved more interesting than usual during yesterday morning's parade up Broadway as office workers, unable to put their hands on any confetti, began tossing actual files from their skyscraper windows. Personal financial documents, bank statements, trust fund details, pay stubs, law firm memos and court papers filled the air during the euphoric jubilation that followed the Bronx Bombers' first title since 2000. Ticker-tape parades may be a New York tradition, but actual ticker-tape hasn't been used in decades. The city's Downtown Alliance, applauded for its recent attempts to save money, may wish to reconsider bringing back the shredded recycled paper it has furnished during previous festivities. Sure, the clean-up is a nightmare, but at least you wouldn't have to worry about identity theft.

More News is Good News

Boise-based PR firm Scott Peyron & Associates was put on a monthly retainer earlier this summer to promote Boise State in its quest for a BCS bowl. Last year, the Broncos were undefeated during the regular season and ranked No. 9, but Utah was ranked higher and earned the guaranteed bowl spot. Facing a similar situation this season, Boise State is currently ranked No. 7, one slot behind TCU. Both teams are unbeaten, but under the current BCS rules only the highest-ranked team is certain of a BCS bowl berth while the other is available for an improbable at-large bid and likely to be shut out altogether. Other schools have tried similar approaches and tireless self-promotion of potential Heisman candidates has been taken to new heights by aggressive SIDs. With all this commercialization in the sport, can team marketing sponsorships, complete with logo uniforms, be far behind? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to today's game between the McDonald's Mustangs of SMU and the Burger King Beavers of Oregon State...

Anyone Seen My Pumps?

This season, college football fans have grown accustomed to the "what's it gonna be this week?" world of Nike haberdashery that is the Oregon football program, which at last count featured 80 different uniform combinations for any given Saturday. The Ducks aren't alone, however, in attempting to put the phrase "wardrobe malfunction" back into the collegiate lexicon. In the ACC, North Carolina broke out its "blue-on-blue" look last month and Virginia Tech premiered a "maroon and orange-on-maroon" fashion faux pas. Further south and with a nod to Halloween night, Georgia went one better with its black pants-black helmet combination, while fellow SEC East rival Tennessee scared the Neyland Stadium faithful in black jerseys. Suddenly, equipment managers around the country who can accessorize find themselves in great demand.

Must Not Be In The Front Row

You may occasionally take the game out of a player, but you can't always take the player out of the game. Former NY Knicks point guard Stephon Marbury, who went all summer unsigned, showed up for his ex-team's home opener and promptly took a seat in the front row. Only one problem -- he wasn't supposed to be sitting there. If that wasn't enough, Marbury pulled out a video camera, stood up and began shooting the game action, thus blocking the view of fans seated behind him. Drawing a chorus of vocal unpleasantries, an examination of his ticket by ushers revealed he was seated in the wrong spot. Rather than suffer the indiginity of relocating, he left the arena before the end of the first quarter. Marbury has stated that he intends to sit out this season before staging a comeback next year, but if his basketball career is over, perhaps he can find work as a cameraman.

IM Recrutn U

Recruiting is a way of life in both business and sports, but its more art than science. Companies must find experienced employees, the military services seek dedicated and committed freedom fighters, network marketing organizations desire the energetic and enthusiastic. So it is also in college football when it comes to uncovering the next great prospect for a program who can make the difference between champion and also-ran. With increasing pressure to win at all levels, faculty, alumni, coaches, players and students themselves are getting into the act, using social media to phone, "tweet" and text potential signees. As the lines of contact blur, incidents of impropriety are likely to increase, thus drawing the NCAA into even more rigorous policing of its policies and practices. Whatever happened to the good old days when kids went to nearby State U. and played simply for the love of the game?

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

After spraining the AC joint in his shoulder during the Sooner's season-opening loss to BYU and then aggravating the injury against arch-rival Texas, Oklahoma's Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback Sam Bradford had surgery today on his right shoulder, thus bringing his senior season to a premature close. Dr. James Andrews informed Kent Bradford his son's thirty-five minute procedure went "just as we expected" and that the patient was experiencing some soreness but otherwise resting comfortably. The talented signal caller, who chose to forego the NFL draft as a consensus top ten pick and return for one more year on campus, has said he plans to declare for the coming draft if his expected four to six month recovery goes as planned. Given that his potential position in the annual talent pool may dip accordingly, the decision to stick around Norman could indeed prove to be an expensive one. Maybe hindsight should be factored into quarterback ratings.

Can I Get A Witless?

ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips, the former NY Met GM, was fired less than a week after admitting to having an affair with 22-year-old production assistant Brooke Hundley and has entered a treatment facility to address his problems. Ms. Hundley has also been terminated by ESPN, continuing a practice by the network to reprimand its employees for inappropriate behaviors or ill-timed comments. The growing list includes suspended anchors Scott Van Pelt (who criticized MLB commissioner Bud Selig's $18.5 million compensation) and Dana Jacobson (who made inappropriate comments about Notre Dame during a roast for ESPN radio co-hosts Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic), along with broadcaster Bob Griese (who made an on-air, racist joke about Columbian NASCAR driver Juan Pablo Montoya during Saturday's Ohio State-Minnesota football game). Suddenly, being in the booth/studio has become just as interesting, and only slightly less dangerous -- but not by much, than playing on the field.

What A Racket

One could assume that tennis fans at the Venetian Macao, the southern Chinese gambling mecca, may not have a deep appreciation for the sports' history, but it must have been interesting to turn back the clock this past week and watch Pete Sampras edge Andre Agassi in three sets to revisit one of the sport's greatest rivalries. The two, who captivated fans a decade ago with their competitive flair and contrasting styles, had not played since Sampras won in the 2002 U.S. Open final for his then-record 14th Grand Slam. The fast indoor surface favored Sampras' attacking style and Agassi came out strong, showing no signs of a bad back that required injections during the 2006 U.S. Open. Perhaps the success of this event will begin a wave of nostalgia matches where the once mighty who's who's may more likely resemble the now who's he's.

Danica's Double Dip

IndyCar Series driver Danica Patrick has recently signaled her intention to run a few Nationwide races next year and give NASCAR a try, hoping to ink a deal soon with JR Motorsports. The road between the two circuits, though not well-traveled, has seen some success, including Tony Stewart, who ran nine Nationwide races in 1996 and five more in 1997 when he won the IRL championship. The following year, Stewart raced 22 Nationwide events for Joe Gibbs Racing while completing the full IRL schedule before moving to Cup in 1999. Say what you will about her abilities, but she's sure to bring even more attention to the sport. Move over, boys. Lady coming through.

Thar He Blows

Following an unexpected meeting in New York yesterday headlined by NBA commissioner David Stern and Lamell McMorris of the NBA's referees' union, it appears a tentative labor agreement "in principal" has been reached, with a vote scheduled Friday. Given that Opening Night is just a week away, and veteran officials were facing joblessness during a rough national economy, the timing for resolution couldn't be more appropriate. With paychecks (and the holidays) right around the corner, those wearing the stripes will once again be able to swallow more than just their whistles.

Grassy Knoll Indeed

As Major League Baseball launches its two respective League Championship Series, the Yankees and Angels square off for the American title, while the Phillies and Dodgers go at it for the National crown. Say what you will about the quality of play and the fiscal inequities in today's game, but it's not lost on anyone that four major market teams once again stand to gain the most from a bi-coastal World Series. Just more fuel for the conspiracy theorists who believe the final outcome was pre-destined long ago in a boardroom on Park Avenue.

BCS Brew-Ha-Ha

Texas Congressman Joe Barton (R-Ennis) continues his apparent football fascination, recently filing legislation to have the Bowl Championship Series dissolved in favor of a college football playoff. Forcing the issue into the court system should make sports fans cringe. After all, who better than the federal government to divise an equitable system in which everyone wins?