The Old End Around

The football coaching profession is nothing if not stressful. During a game this past weekend, Boys and Girls High School volunteer assistant coach William Miller exposed his rear end to opposing fans, according to school officials, and was terminated by principal Bernard Gassaway after the incident. The altercation occurred following a controversial call late in the fourth quarter of Boys and Girls' 16-6 loss to Campus Magnet in a Public Schools Athletic League game in Queens, New York. Coaches became enraged with referees and tensions eventually escalated, whereupon Miller, a first-year assistant, approached Campus Magnet fans behind a fence on the side of the field, dropped his shorts and revealed his rear end. The refs eventually called the game, awarding Campus Magnet the victory with 3:49 remaining. Given his over-reaction to the call, it appears Miller could use a time-out himself.

Mascot Mauled in Midwest Melee

Fans attending an intrastate rivalry last Saturday witnessed unbridled "animal-osity" prior to the opening whistle. Brandon Hanning, the 19-year-old inside "Rufus," the Ohio University Bobcat mascot, wrestled Ohio State's "Brutus" to the end zone turf before the first flag was thrown in an eventual OSU 43-7 victory. Reports claim that Hanning tried out for the job with the express goal of tackling the Buckeye at Ohio Stadium. The pre-meditated tussle led to an apology from Ohio University and the banning of Hanning from further affiliation with the athletic department, which regretted the negative impact such unprovoked action had on the relationship between the two schools. The ban shouldn't be a problem as Hanning now attends nearby Hocking College... which only offers its students intramural and club sports.

"Fire in the Hole" in One

Perhaps the PGA should spend more time focusing on public layouts... the action is much hotter. Last Saturday, an unidentified weekend golfer at the Shady Canyon Golf Course in Irvine, California, placed an errant tee shot into the rough, attracting good-natured ribbing from his playing partners. His second swing, however, attracted 150 firefighters to the scene when his club snagged a rock, igniting a spark that torched a 12-acre patch of vegetation over two parched, brushy hillsides. Sure gives new meaning to the term, "match play."